But who will do the laundry?

These words have swirled in my brain so long I finally had to commit them to paper… well, the digitized image of paper that exists in the 13 inch box on my desk. And therein lies the conundrum. So much of what we do personally and professionally requires little more than tapping on variously sized keys and/or screens that it doesn’t seem real. Sure, I can transfer this image to a sheet of fiber (preferably 8-1/2” x 11”), but even then it’s just words… the base symbols we humans use to express meaning. Who will ultimately do the laundry?

Laundry is tangible, cyclical, glamour-less. It requires planning, time, sorting and ultimately soap, water and attention. It represents all the meaningful tasks that are relegated to the lower half of our to do lists… that is, if you are the person tasked (and/or motivated) to do it. And, let me not fail to mention another critical characteristic: no one is compensated for the time it takes to do the laundry, which may ultimately be its modern day coupe de grace.

In every household, however, someone has to do the laundry… and in my household that someone is most often me. Now here’s the dirty little secret about laundry. I actually love to do the laundry and the grocery shopping, too. I actually enjoy myriad methodical, repetitious tasks. I wasn’t always this way and I’m not uniformly inclined to housekeeping… dusting, vacuuming and the like still elude me. I am drawn to the nurturing practicality of laundry. It is somehow both soothing and necessary to have a variety of clean, folded clothes in the drawer, a soft towel in the closet, a fresh set of sheets and maybe even a colorful dishtowel or two. These tasks provide a certain rhythmic constancy to a household and a baseline of functionality upon which family members can rely. I like to imagine it may even contribute to one’s development of faith and sense of order and self-respect.

In the hurried pace and monetized priorities of today’s age, laundry is often an afterthought. It’s the stuff that’s stuffed behind and under the children’s beds. It’s the pile that turns into a mound then morphs into a small mountain at the bottom of the stairs. When laundry is done someone is usually up very early or very late, cramming it into yet another overloaded (pun intended!) day. Laundry? Why bother? We can always buy more to wear. Indeed, we probably already have so the stuff in the piles loses its value anyway. The newer stuff in the drawers and closets is better after all. Who cares?

I do. In a culture that reveres independence and revolves around an (often unstable) economy, we have glorified and normalized an inherently unsustainable existence. Laundry piles are just a symptom of a bigger problem. As family units have become more and more atomized each family member is expected to engage in individual activities for which he or she has an interest or talent. Both parents are expected to work outside the home to support said activities as well as to maintain their own individual interests and activities. It costs a great deal to maintain a home and even more to approach a culturally acceptable lifestyle. As children become adults they are expected to leave to start new atomized families of their own. I suspect laundry is not the only thing that’s neglected. I’m pretty sure family dinners cooked from scratch don’t get much traction either.

I, for one, would like to reclaim laundry and dinner… and a host of other truly meaningful tasks that contribute to the fabric of a functional family and strengthen the community-at-large. I would like the option to do these things without fear of cultural reprisal, unrelenting stigma or economic hardship. I would also like to be free of the burdensome stress that comes from doing this work on top of everything else that’s expected daily. How? That’s the question that bears asking. I think the answer might actually include a seemingly incongruous word: more!

Not more new clothes! More community. More extended family of choice if not of origin. Larger groups of people who share one dwelling can divvy up the daily tasks and care for each other. Those who are so inclined and best-suited can do meaningful work outside the home for money while others attend to the (no less meaningful) work that keep a community connected. Things like laundry.

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