All together now!

No, not the Beatles lyric. Rather, a multi-generational group of related or unrelated people living together under one roof. What?! You mean like it used to be among immigrant populations and farmers in America long ago? Like it still is in many parts of the world? Yes… emphatically… yes!

As I sit alone in my 3000 square foot home I am embarrassed by the sheer unused space and overwhelmed by the deafening silence. It seems just a few seconds ago I was a busy work-from-home mother with four energetic children underfoot. For years this place buzzed with a life of its own as some industrious spirit cooked or built or created or cleaned something somewhere! Sadly, all industry has now fallen to my husband and me and I must say it’s extremely BORING… and costly… and exhausting… and, frankly, lonely. It feels as if much of the meaning has gone missing.

That’s why I want to bring it back. Not in some crunchy commune or dreamy academic kind of way, but rather a very hands-on, practical shared living experience. Sort of like a Montessori Adult & Children’s House where the community members get to sleep over night. In an authentic Montessori Children’s House, the work-space (classroom) truly belongs to the children. In it they create a micro-community with shared responsibility for function and maintenance. Materials are designed for auto-education and older children who’ve internalized the rules guide and monitor the younger children so very little adult interference is necessary. The primary job of the Montessori directress is to prepare the environment – rotating and refreshing materials and experiences to keep them attractive, relevant and engaging – and providing lessons to children as needed so they can attempt and ultimately master new and/or more challenging work.

In the multi-generational environment I imagine, much of the hands-on preparation work (aka the heavy lifting, yard work and grocery shopping!) would be done by those most capable of doing it. In practical terms this would mean that those of prime income earning age and talent would work outside the home while those on either end of the spectrum would fill in on both sides and the middle. Elders, adults-at-home, young people and small children would be responsible for a variety of specific age- and skill-appropriate maintenance tasks. Many hands make light work, so working together would be encouraged and supported, thus serving to strengthen relationships as well as the household fabric. Additionally, elders would be regularly called upon for their insight, expertise and wisdom… especially as reading coaches and homework helpers!

Of course a variety of cost-sharing details would need to be worked out and care roles would shift as elders got, well, elderly… but I think if the home culture were attended to with a great deal of care and the inter-generational relationships were built very honestly over years then that support – both the financial and the physical kind – would flow as a matter of course out of gratitude and love.

Hm-mm...what’s for dinner?

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