Listens. Responds. Thoughtfully.
Every time.

I saw a cart of watermelons one hot day.
I only saw the cart.
I often wonder about the shared moments when eaten.
Smiles. Thoughts. Time. Shared.
Feels like that wonder will satisfy every time.
Like each drippy swallow of that sweet juice.

time is space and short
waste not want not always true
what is my lesson

We love making them. Talking about them. Creating new ones. Sharing them.
Bought and paid for, catalogued and wrung dry of the moment. Their yours. Forever.
Their comes a time when you'll yearn to revisit.
(Yes, indeed you can have your cake and then eat it again.)
How? Especially from the poignant moment of a last breath. Create more or appreciate the treasure trove already lived and clearly alive.
Our life viewed as a cross-section (think a tree trunk's rings telling its story) is in us. Memories are alive. They spark, cry, ache, smile and move us. Take out your phone and scroll your pictures back a few years. Bet you feel each bite of that cake...again.
The following clip is a cache of deep, deep memories for my other half and me. As we've lost our elders and work for our youth, appreciating our blessings makes for a grateful perspective. One that has helped dissolve the patina of dissatisfaction, urgency and pointless perfection lightly, but completely, applied consistently all around us by entities that would have us eat just one piece of cake - forgetting the whole. No more...come join us, the water is fine!

We talk quite a bit about what we would do if, when, how we would do it and why or why not. It's all hot air. Who really plumbs the depths except to wallow? Who among us understands ourselves?
I have had a fascination with Kevin Carter's 1994 Pulitzer Prize winning photograph
since I first witnessed it and in keeping with our new "no blog" attitude, we offer the following link as a catalyst for discernment,
http://pirate.shu.edu/~mckenndo/ethics%20cases-Starving%20Child%20Photo.htm

We underestimate everything. Absolutely everything all the time.
How long anything will take. Who will show up. Why and why not?
Then we change our minds, directions and motivations.
All the while - we continue to dream of better things.
Then we die. Often unprepared and behind in our reconciliations.
Those we bound ourselves up with continue the journey.
Or they don't. We underestimate everything.

It wasn't too long ago that I hadn't heard the words "podcast" or "blog". Like 20 years. Now? We keep one on our website. You never know.
We spend the majority of our time working with individuals and groups around the skills of communication and personal wellness. Part of our philosophy is a reduction in connection to our digitalia interfaces. Why? It helps everything every time.
So enough of this blog...;-)

Tough being a parent.
Ask one and they'll be grateful to tell you all about it.
Over thirty years in I'm happy I get another day to be alive next to them. Even the one I've never been a father to I'm grateful that we are both still breathing and available for opportunity to rekindle a never dead flame.
As I reflect on the differences in my role as my children grew through each age and stage I am amazed at what works. That understanding arrived in hindsight only mind you, never prior to its necessity. Once learned, never needed again.
Peer support has been around since the first time two of anything helped each other. As if a default choice for propinquity, peer support serves as the foundation of any positive connection. The determining factor seems to be mutuality or aligned motivation.
Back to my parental lament. (The way I began this post. Good, you didn't notice.)
It is tough being a parent. Yet I've found it improves dramatically when children grow into adults and we communicate within proven frameworks of peer support and mutuality.
Seems like most everything is better when seasoned with a bit of those...our salt and pepper. Peer Support and Mutuality....super spices!

Holding down the fourth position in our self-care paradigm (play, create, observe & practice) we surmise we stowed it away in the rear so we didn't stumble upon it to often.
Really - very rarely do I like to repeat what I've done, know I can do and believe I do well enough. So many other experiences - so little time. Practice I know I have no time for. (Indeed I do for alliteration though...;-)
Unless I want to improve. Therein that discernment lies one's motivation.
Why don't I practice - like it or not?
For me, I stated above my preference for a volume of experiences, "so many...". On the other hand we have quality of experience.
Aaargh...choices! How do I decide? (Remember what I want and why...)
Practice helps with quality. It's that simple.
Let the practice begin!

OK. You've let the slideshow roll a few times. Cute, right?
Or is it more? Let's say for arguments sake it's a learning environment. What do you think is present or missing as an educational environment?
We look forward to your observations and our future conversations.

Why do stories follow the same general arc? Good characters, challenges, antagonists, accomplishments and future possibilities.
The truth of the matter is the only thing that really changes (or not) is us, what we hear. How we hear it. How we apply what we hear.
Huh?
Very simply it's not the external situation we see but our internal reaction that affects our impression of any story.

Test the idea. Compare

• One industry to another
  
• One time to another
• One situation to another

One technology compared...you get it. Any situation seems to prove the point - the only constant is...wait for it...the individual. Not all the people or things around the situation, near the action or in the thick of it. No, none of them.

Reality is - we are all that matters to us. How we improve our communication skills will most always have more impact on the outcome than any other story element - good characters, challenges, antagonists, accomplishment and future possibilities.

A simple lesson that never changes. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

We humbly offer the following prompt, slideshow and time (as long as you desire) to think about, Today.
Enjoy. We look forward to hearing all about it!

Every once in awhile I fill this space with a rendition of how we found our way and stay the course with Meaningful Trainings.
First - the path was well trodden and lite by those who proceeded.
Second - we work with the concepts of motivation and communication.
Third - we partner with clients who seek to increase the understanding of intrinsic motivation and accrue the benefits of clear, effective communication.
Results - effective skills development resources for adult learners.
One two three. One two three. One two three.
Boring and repetitious or eternally exciting and fresh?
For us the later.
You?

I use to think I was great at vacations. Going there. Doing that.
Then I'd meet travelers from foreign lands who told me of a type of vacation I could only dream about - months long vacations. Not these seven day jaunts that include two days of travel.
So I began to think. How could I vacation differently? The more I thought about it I realized I didn't know the first thing about relaxing. Completely disconnecting and just being. Actually not moving. All I do is move.
Yet, with practice, I'm pretty good at it now. Vacation you ask, good at vacationing?
Indeed yes - I'm great at vacationing! But when I used to be lousy at it I never realized that relaxation and self-care are parts of my life I needed to become better at. Running for a week with kids to a beach rental and boardwalk is exciting and I love it. I just do better when I remember vacations are only relaxing and restorative if I relax and restore.
Now about a couple of months vacation...

I recall the endless rejections and authoritative determinations of what would work and what would not.
Period. No exceptions.
Such were the thoughts on remote learning as recently as early 2020. Surprising what a cataclysmic event makes possible.
As we are now full steam ahead with developing digital learning frameworks and experiential facilitation it's amazing to see this incredible turn-around in attitude from leaders across virtually every industry.
Our query for you arises from this new reality; what other framework or process do you maintain that might benefit from an aggressive questioning of the reasons why you continue?
Once you find one - engage yourself in a discernment process. Maybe it's as good as it gets. Maybe not.
Once you complete the process you will know versus just believing.
Once you understand that difference nothing becomes unthinkable ever again.

Strictly speaking doldrums are states or periods of inactivity, stagnation, or depression. The term is often used to invoke imagery of windless days onboard a sailing vessel in the middle of an ocean. Eternal waiting.....
Here we are in the middle of July, amidst the doldrums of summertime. So our question to you is how do you get the wind moving again? When faced with a lull in activity, maybe with your team or even your family, what do you do?
Waiting - but not so long sloth becomes overriding.
Do something - the other choice besides nothing.
What about your middle choices? How about observing? Just sitting back and noticing?
I think that's gonna be enough for a few hot, summer days. Just like the cats and dogs - just slow down and observe book-ended by a couple of naps.
And for you?

Since I've been focused on the practice of choosing happiness, it's nice to realize that in the midst of this pandemic, I've actually had some time to reflect on it too. The following was originally posted April 15th, 2016; enjoy (I KNOW it's long!) and if you must skip ahead, please be sure to check out the LAST paragraph! Living in community -- sharing resources, stories, sorrows, joys and tasks,  participating in ways that suit each individual's inclinations and talent, moving more SLOWLY and SAVORING the present moment -- describes the way my (blindsided, furloughed, remote-worker) adult children and I have spent the better part of the last four months! In our own little "blue zone" the increase in sustainable happiness, while not uniform and far from perfect, has been palpable!

But who will do the laundry? (April 15th 2016)
These words have swirled in my brain so long I finally had to commit them to paper... well, the digitized image of paper that exists in the 13 inch box on my desk. And therein lies the conundrum. So much of what we do personally and professionally requires little more than tapping on variously sized keys and/or screens that it doesn’t seem real. Sure, I can transfer this image to a sheet of fiber (preferably 8-1/2” x 11”), but even then it’s just words… the base symbols we humans use to express meaning. Who will ultimately do the laundry?

Laundry is tangible, cyclical, glamour-less. It requires planning, time, sorting and ultimately soap, water and attention. It represents all the meaningful tasks that are relegated to the lower half of our to do lists… that is, if you are the person tasked (and/or motivated) to do it. And, let me not fail to mention another critical characteristic: no one is compensated for the time it takes to do the laundry, which may ultimately be its modern day coupe de grace.

In every household, however, someone has to do the laundry… and in my household that someone is most often me. Now here’s the dirty little secret about laundry. I actually love to do the laundry and the grocery shopping, too. I actually enjoy myriad methodical, repetitious tasks. I wasn’t always this way and I’m not uniformly inclined to housekeeping… dusting, vacuuming and the like still elude me. I am drawn to the nurturing practicality of laundry. It is somehow both soothing and necessary to have a variety of clean, folded clothes in the drawer, a soft towel in the closet, a fresh set of sheets and maybe even a colorful dishtowel or two. These tasks provide a certain rhythmic constancy to a household and a baseline of functionality upon which family members can rely. I like to imagine it may even contribute to one’s development of faith and sense of order and self-respect.

In the hurried pace and monetized priorities of today’s age, laundry is often an afterthought. It’s the stuff that’s stuffed behind and under the children’s beds. It’s the pile that turns into a mound then morphs into a small mountain at the bottom of the stairs. When laundry is done someone is usually up very early or very late, cramming it into yet another overloaded (pun intended!) day. Laundry? Why bother? We can always buy more to wear. Indeed, we probably already have so the stuff in the piles loses its value anyway. The newer stuff in the drawers and closets is better after all. Who cares?

I do. In a culture that reveres independence and revolves around an (often unstable) economy, we have glorified and normalized an inherently unsustainable existence. Laundry piles are just a symptom of a bigger problem. As family units have become more and more atomized each family member is expected to engage in individual activities for which he or she has an interest or talent. Both parents are expected to work outside the home to support said activities as well as to maintain their own individual interests and activities. It costs a great deal to maintain a home and even more to approach a culturally acceptable lifestyle. As children become adults they are expected to leave to start new atomized families of their own. I suspect laundry is not the only thing that’s neglected. I’m pretty sure family dinners cooked from scratch don’t get much traction either.

I, for one, would like to reclaim laundry and dinner… and a host of other truly meaningful tasks that contribute to the fabric of a functional family and strengthen the community-at-large. I would like the option to do these things without fear of cultural reprisal, unrelenting stigma or economic hardship. I would also like to be free of the burdensome stress that comes from doing this work on top of everything else that’s expected daily. How? That’s the question that bears asking. I think the answer might actually include a seemingly incongruous word: more!

Not more new clothes! More community. More extended family of choice if not of origin. Larger groups of people who share one dwelling can divvy up the daily tasks and care for each other. Those who are so inclined and best-suited can do meaningful work outside the home for money while others attend to the (no less meaningful) work that keep a community connected. Things like laundry.

SPOILER ALERT: Prior to this whole COVID-19 snafu, we had begun to re-imagine our community and setting to support non-violence, deep seeking, communication and PEACE. We'll be sharing more about the results of this VERY SOON!

Until then, here's a Guardians of the Galaxy Super Mix that we all particularly enjoy (okay, me mostly tbh). Hope it makes you happy!

If you haven't read the post for June 1st, I highly recommend it. If you want to just jump on in... who am I to stop you, especially in a post about happiness. Basically I'm exploring how I practice* being in the present moment, so I can commit to and sustain my unconditional happiness.

Here's a quote I first read on a bookmark more than 30 years ago:
"Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that 'Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.'"

Well, according to all reliable (ancient & modern) sources... that appears to be it then! For me, my mind is most made up and pointed toward happiness when I'm listening and/or dancing to music. So, when I perused a variety of contemporary "happy" songs, they all say essentially the same thing... as each other, as "honest" Abe, as the sages throughout history. So... I guess I (and you, if you choose to make yourself happy right now) will just have to listen:
Pharrell Williams -- Happy (Official Music Video)
Justin Timberlake -- Can't Stop the Feeling (From DreamWorks Animation "Trolls") (Official Video)
"Can't Stop the Feeling!" (Official Movie Clip) TROLLS
Bobby McFerrrin -- Don't Worry Be Happy (Official Video)
Katrina & The Waves -- Walking on Sunshine (Official Video)

*Since the "multiple pathways" concept applies to everything... it's not one specific practice, but a practice that's specific to you! How do you connect to the present moment, stay grateful and feel bliss? What would happen if you chose to do THAT no matter what? Would you be happy, too?

In the midst of all the overwhelming sadness and confusion in the world, I have been consciously focused on the idea of happiness:
What is it? I know it when I feel it!
How does one achieve it? It seems to arrive when I'm least focused on IT!
What exactly does it feel like? Levity, bliss, surging energy flowing through me.
How do I sustain it? This is where I get stuck again and again.

For perspective, I turn to history, ancient and modern. Not surprisingly, I find messages about achieving happiness are nearly identical across millennia (emphasis all mine):

Buddhist: Equanimity, or peace of mind is achieved by detaching oneself from the cycle of craving that produces suffering. By achieving a mental state where you can detach from all the passions, needs and wants of life, you free yourself and achieve a state of transcendent bliss and well-being.

Christian: Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

Taoist: Happiness is a process -- a lifelong journey that doesn't rely on external factors and the key for sustaining it lies within us.

Yogic: Contentment is a form of self-discipline that demands we eschew ego and focus on gratitude. Gratitude for everything cannot co-exist with disdain for anything.

Irreverent Contemporary: Don't give a f*ck! Seriously, Mark Manson wrote an entire book on how to put life into perspective and achieve peace by being especially selective in what & how many f*cks you give!

Whew! I know there are literally hundreds of other references I could list that would reinforce basically the same message... but for today, I'll describe just one more.

In Michael A. Singer's The Untethered Soul, the author blends a variety of traditions as he espouses a spiritual concept called "unconditional happiness" and suggests the choice to be so or not is entirely up to each of us. Singer urges readers to answer ONE question, "Do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy" However, he notes, "most people don't dare give themselves that choice" because they don't think they can control the myriad variables (people, places, things, events, etc.) that make them unhappy. Singer suggests even this thinking misses the point. The actual point is NONE of it is within our control anyway, so why not choose to acknowledge THIS reality and move forward with a lightness of being that accompanies PRESENT MOMENT AWARENESS? I'll consider that question in the next post :)

Here it is! The mother of ALL resources... TIME! Think about it. We have a great idea or a great recipe, we have a variety of tasks and talents, we have a desire to grow and change. So, what keeps us from actualizing that idea, creating that mind-blowingly delicious meal, completing each task, cultivating and sharing each talent, growing into the human we envision ourselves to be? Well now, there's that sneaky little bugaboo called TIME. We never seem to have enough; we're not efficient; we're not skilled at carving it out for ourselves; we're overwhelmed. All this is absolutely true... until you realize that TIME is nothing more than a social construct. Why is today Friday? 12:26 P.M. on this particular Friday in May for that matter? TIME helps us place ourselves within our world; it helps frame our existence. It is merely a tool. So, what if we used that tool differently? How could we wield it to better build our capacity to utilize all the other resources we've considered in each of the previous nine blogs? I'll leave that to you to contemplate... along with this quote from T. S. Eliot: "It is only in the world of objects that we have time and space and selves."
Hmmm...

How do we describe space? Infinite, beautiful, ethereal, other-worldly. But, how do we interact with space when we consider it an entity we exist in?  We say things like -- occupy space, conquer space, move through space, make space, leave space, design space, take up space, create space. Each of these phrases sounds as if we are trying to manipulate it or ourselves to exert some kind of control over it. What would happen if we tried to stay in the description itself? At Meaningful Trainings we work with individuals to explore the space beyond human-imposed constraints. Rolling around in the infinite, connecting with the beautiful no matter where one finds oneself -- drowning in life's myriad obligations or letting go at life's end -- allows us to remember that the ethereal and other-worldly exists within each of us. This opens up a space in which ANYTHING is truly possible.

What do you see? What do you wonder about what you see? I wonder about where each object originated? What was/is its purpose? What attracted this collector to this object? Why? I guess you could say, the very nature of curiosity makes me curious? Now, just engaging in these seemingly circular thoughts might be a fine way to spend a day, but for Meaningful Trainings we don't view curiosity as a mere toy or even just a tool. Curiosity is FUEL! It provides the very energy humans need to learn and do! Without curiosity, days are long and boring and who can learn, do or for that matter create in a state of such unending boredom? But, awakening to the birds and wondering what their song conveys, gets me out of my bed, into the world, onto the path with eyes and ears wide, wondering what I'll learn and contribute to this new day! What might you create with this wonder?

Poetry? Really? Yep! When we work with individuals to improve their facilitation and presentation skills, we reach well beyond the classic resources to find parallel lessons, exercises and inspiration. In this slim volume distinguished poet, Mary Oliver offers insight and suggestions on how to create and deliver one’s work in a powerful way that resonates. Guess what contributes to success… yep, you got it… Practice!

When we talk about observation it’s often understood as “what did you see, hear, smell, etc.” It is external information derived through the senses. Michael A. Singer flips this notion on its head and offers an instruction set for thoroughly observing one’s inner world and acting on what one finds to achieve inner peace and ultimate confidence. It all starts with the seemingly simple question, “Who Are You?”

In 1932 Maria Montessori (scientist, educator, visionary) addressed a convention at the International Office of Education in Geneva. In 1989, Aline D. Wolf resurrected the heart and spirit of this address to remind all of us that the act of creation requires more than just vision; it requires a lot of work to reframe old structures and reorient old mindsets. For Montessori, this began with education that prioritized cooperation, collaboration and community. For us and our organizations what would we prioritize to create the culture we crave?